Here at Bossip, we like to keep things pretty PG-13, but once in a while a story pops up huge in our newsfeeds, swells our interest, causes quite the bulge in our imaginations, which in turn causes mature content to be erected onto the page sometimes.
(We’re not sure why you guys are giggling, but we wish you’d stop so we can continue to endow you with important news.)
Apparently, comedian Marlon Wayans is blessed with colossal…talent, an enormous…sense of humor and monstrous…compassion and empathy for his fellow human beings.
Also, he has a very large penis.
Actress and fellow comedian Kym Whitley recently made an appearance on TV One’s Uncensored and confirmed that schlong…I mean, long-standing rumors about the size of Wayans’ ginormous junk are not exaggerated…that his phallus is no fallacy…that he’s knock-kneed for reasons unrelated to how his legs curve.
Whitley said she was guest-starring on the WB sitcom The Wayans Bros. in 1998 when she found out first hand (but not like that, you degenerates) that Wayans’ thang be thangin’ like nobody’s business. (Except it was everybody’s business as everyone on set appeared to know about it but her.)
“I thought he’s trying to be funny because he’s a fool and I kept looking and I said, ‘This boy done put a small bat in his shorts, in his red sweatpants,’” Whitley explained. “I kept looking at it and I said, ‘Stop being silly, boy, are you crazy?’”
She said she then turned to the crew and said, “‘You see this? He is so silly.’ And nobody on set was laughing. They were saying over the speakers, like, ‘Oh, she seen it.’”
“So I am like, that’s real?” she continued. “First of all you need to put a rope on that thing and tie it up, whatever that is. Then for the whole week, I was distracted. The word in Hollywood is he’s just blessed, and it burned into my brain.”
OK, so just to give y’all fair warning, I will now be abandoning all levels of maturity I worked so hard to display up to this point.
YOOOOOOOOO, Kym Whitley said Marlon Wayans got a donkey d**k.
She said Wayans can swing low his sweet chariot at any given moment.
Kym Whitley said when baseball players came up with “swing, batter batter batter batter, swing,” they were definitely talking to Marlon Wayans and his protruding peen.
Marlon Wayans’ penis is proportionate to the size of Nicki Minaj’s cousins’ friend’s alleged vaccinated testicles.
Florida is actually a life-size model of Marlon’s junk.
A Marlon Wayans d**k pic can only be viewed on IMAX in 3-D.
OK, seriously, guys, Whitely talked about other things besides Wayans and his cocka-doodle-doo-too-much. She also talked about important things like her encounter with the FBI and her relationship with late R&B icon Gerald Levert.
You guys really need to grow up.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS ALL GROWN UP???
You know what, we’re just going to leave it here.
Tune in for the full episode of Kim Whitley on “Uncensored” this Sunday September 19 at 10/9C on TV One